Forgiveness

Atlanta Thrashers ' Dany Heatley hugs LuAnn Snyder, mother of former Thrasher Dan Snyder, in an Atlanta courtroom Friday, Feb. 4, 2005, after a hearing for Heatley. . . . for the Sept. 29, 2003, crash in Atlanta that killed [her son] Dan Snyder.

There were several other memorable and moving hugs last week.  This story by Ray Glier appeared in yesterday's New York Times:

The mothers of Dan Snyder and Dany Heatley shared a long, emotional embrace in a crowded Fulton County courtroom Friday, a symbol of how the bond between families rescued the hockey career of Heatley, a star forward for the Atlanta Thrashers.

Heatley, 24, had been charged with vehicular homicide in the death of Snyder, his Thrashers teammate and friend, after a crash in September 2003. He pleaded guilty to lesser charges Friday and was sentenced to three years' probation and fined $3,000.

Paul L. Howard Jr., the Fulton County district attorney, acknowledged that the reluctance of LuAnn and Graham Snyder, Dan Snyder's parents, to seek prison time for Heatley weighed heavily on his decision to drop the charge of felony vehicular homicide.

Heatley pleaded guilty to four misdemeanor charges in exchange for prosecutors dropping charges of first-degree vehicular homicide and reckless driving, which could have meant up to 15 years in prison. . . .

"I am imposing this sentence because, first of all, the Snyders wanted it this way," he told Heatley. "Second, I don't think the community would benefit by you being in prison."

He told the Snyders, "I don't know that I could do this if I were you."

Barnes also ordered Heatley to make 50 speeches a year for three years about the perils of speeding. His car must have a mechanism to prevent it from exceeding 70 miles an hour. Various experts estimated that Heatley was driving from 55 m.p.h. to 82 m.p.h. in a 35-m.p.h. zone when the crash occurred. . . .

Snyder was a passenger in Heatley's Ferrari when it crashed Sept. 29, 2003. He sustained a fractured skull and never regained consciousness. Snyder died six days later; he was 25.

Howard said he tried to persuade the Snyders to join in the prosecution of Heatley, but the family resisted. That prompted him, he said, to seek a plea agreement and avoid a trial, which was to start Monday.

"Apparently, during the whole ordeal, they have grown close to Dany Heatley," Howard said.

The families' closeness was apparent in the courtroom. Graham Snyder, who said he did not meet Heatley until after the crash, read a statement and said that his son would have wanted the family to forgive Heatley.

"Today a young man needs him and because he is not here, we will stand for him," Graham Snyder said. "Forgiveness in our hearts has helped us move on."

Heatley's mother, Karin, sobbed at times, particularly when her son turned toward the Snyders in the fourth row of the courtroom and said, "I would like to say with all my heart I am truly sorry."

Heatley turned back toward Barnes and said, "The mistake I made that night will be a mistake that will stay with me the rest of my life."

After the hearing, Graham Snyder tried to explain how his family could forgive Heatley. He described how Dan left home in Elmira, Ontario, at 16 to pursue a professional career and how close they became with the family Dan boarded with while he was in the Ontario Hockey League.

Graham Snyder said that hockey families in small towns in Canada would wrap their arms around each other for support, and that this was one of those instances.

"I don't think it was a difficult thing for us to do," he said.

"I, even I, . . . blot out thy transgression for Mine own sake, and thy sins will I not remember."  Isaiah 43:25.

"In grief unspeakable, I give you my hand.  You, of all women the most pitiable, say to your son that in the name and spirit of him he has murdered, I forgive, even as God may forgive, if before an earthly judge he make a full confession of his guilt, and before a Heavenly One he repent."  M. Rathenau, mother of Walter Rathenau, to his assassin's mother, 1922.

Comments

[H. Stein]

Very well done blog. Layout very readable and your comments are incisive.

I'm also impressed that you have had 2 articles published in The jewish Press. I thought I was the only Harvard graduate who read -and agreed with it.

Your blogroll gets the good ones. Glad to see Melanie Phillips on it. I think she's brilliant and passionate and not well-known.

Take a look at Dr. Horsefeathers. Tough-minded commentary and analysis.

I gather you are a resident of Atlanta and a hockey fan.I don't know anything about Atlanta hockey and very little about the city. Is there a Jewish connection to Dan Snyder( other than a lot of Atlantan Jews are fans)?

[Robbe Richman]

Very powerful post

[Yvonne Prete]

I came upon this site by accident and will always remember it. I am grateful to the Snyders for rescuing their tragedy and the two young men.

[Melissa]

I believe that Snyders made a right choice in forgiving Dany Heatley. I am proud of that.

[Melissa]

I believe that Snyders made a right choice in forgiving Dany Heatley. I am proud of that.